The Loudest Trumpet

With each passing week and every new Donald Trump quote, you can practically hear comedians the country over rubbing their hands together whilst salivating. Trump’s own brand of ridiculous nonsense is what comedians live for. He can say just about anything and they jump on the opportunity to crack a joke in regards to the gold-obsessed billionaire; and we all laugh along with them.

It’s amazing that someone like Trump could ever get this close to a Presidential candidacy. After descending an escalator (for some reason) he announced that he would run for the presidency of the United States and that he’d make the greatest, most amazing president that blah blah blah. It later came out that he had hired people to hold signs and pretend to be supporters, which is a fantastic sentiment in and of itself.

He also said a lot of extremely negative and racist things about “illegal immigrants.” We all sat back with jaws wide and slight smirks on our faces because, clearly, this man had killed his chances of running before he even began. The comedians had a field day, as they should have, and we all waited for Trump to backtrack and try to fumble his way out of his comments.

Except that he never did. And, what’s worse, he jumped to number two in the polls of Republican candidates.

This is where things stop being funny.

Trump is a unique and odd individual. He boasts about being extremely successful, despite having filed for bankruptcy multiple times and having gotten his money from inheritance. He also criticizes things he clearly has no actual knowledge about (the illegal immigrant comments, for example; he also called a Scotland farm a “slum”* because, presumably, he doesn’t understand what a farm should look like). He thinks far too highly of himself, with no modesty whatsoever, which is not a great quality for a president.

Through promises of making every American rich, he’s become this entity of delusion that clearly doesn’t understand economics or Capitalism even on a basic level. Perhaps because of this, coupled with his unabashedly American idealism of being one hundred percent unapologetic, his ranking as the second most popular Republican candidate has stuck fast.

And that should concern everyone—not least other Republicans. If Trump made it into the nomination, it would say something extremely discouraging about America. It would show how aligned we are with Trump’s ideas and characteristics. Are we so boastful? Are we so greedy? Are we so critical of things we know nothing of? Are we so egotistical?

Although I like to think the best of my country, the truth is, we are many of those things. We’ve become a nation isolating itself from the rest of the world. We keep a handful of other countries friendly, if only at an arm’s length. Maybe, hopefully, that’s what will happen with Trump: The American populous will see him for the tyrant he is and push him away long before the primaries and the next election will be between two (or, even better, more) sane people.

But then we have to go back to the old point of why Trump is getting so much media coverage in the first place: He’s entertainment. He’s hilarious in a sad-clown-kind-of-way. We like pointing at him and laughing or rolling our eyes until they get stuck inside our heads. Without him we might have another boring election of people rattling on about issues. Bah! Where’s the remote?

My prediction is this: The Old White Men that back the Republican party will edge Trump out for someone who looks extremely reasonable next to the orange-faced, swooping comb over of Donald T. At this point, Trump will either get back to trying to be the best, most richest whatever in the woooorld; or he will run as an Independent. If the latter happens, he’ll dump large amounts of his own money into his campaign since no rich Republican-backing individual (or two brothers who shall remain nameless) would touch him with a dollar bill attached to a ten-foot stick. He’ll get, maybe, two percent of the vote, thus confirming that his current second place ranking among Republicans is a fluke.

I very much doubt, though, that he will make it to ever debating a Democratic candidate. His nomination in the primaries would depend solely on the average American’s deluded desire to be a millionaire and our thirst for entertainment over our own good…

Actually, now that I put it that way, we might be calling him President Trump in a year and a half. And heaven help us if the White House becomes the Gold House.

Footnotes:
*If you’ve not seen it, check out the documentary You’ve Been Trumped.
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About gfwilson

Artist, film maker, photographer...but mostly part-time library worker.
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